Why, When You Set Goals, Do You Fail To Reach Them?
by: graham and julie
Why is it when you set goals for yourself most of them are not realised?
How is it that intelligent people, who take time out to refocus and decide what they want to do with the rest of their life, don’t follow through?
How is that friendly outgoing people who makes friends easily and are really good fun to be with find it difficult to keep to their own goals?
How is it that people who hold down difficult and stressful jobs find it difficult to break habits that cause them so much physical, psychological and social discomfort?
How is it that even though you buy numerous self help books. Even though you understand all the facts and issues you still can’t stick to your goal?
So what is it?
What is it that bright, capable people can’t grasp?
What’s the answer?
You are working from the wrong premise. You have got the whole message the wrong way round. You are coming at the problem via the back door rather than walking straight in the front.
THIS IS THE PROBLEM
Whenever you work on goals, you are working on achieving some external result. Whether it be achieving end of month/ quarter/ year figures, stopping smoking, losing weight or starting a business.
When you chase goals like these, when you come from the place of what you are trying to achieve is external from you, you gradually switch off. Over time you catch yourself setting the goals but putting less and less effort into achieving them. Why? Because when you have achieved it, what do you do then? Do it again?
In a nutshell most of us have a goal habit. We aim at achieving these external things year on year and when we have reached them we are labelled a success. The problem is the feelings of happiness and contentment don’t last. That’s why we’re off again.
Instead of focussing on the end. Instead of focussing on how much weight you want to lose. How much money you want to earn. How much……… you want. It’s not a question of inspiration, it’s a question of intuition. . Focus on you. Yes YOU
Start to look at yourself.
Why are you setting these goals in the first place?
What are trying to achieve?
Most of us want to be happy. To feel fulfilled. To achieve peace of mind.
To feel successful. The trouble is that when you achieve your goals, you get a sense of success, fulfilment, happiness for a short time and then you’re off again. Another year another set of goals.
Hence it is not the achievement of a goal that is important but the achievement of the essence of the goal. The happiness. The fulfilment. The peace of mind.
But all of these things are inside you. You already have them. They’ve just got buried somewhere and need to be acknowledged.
As Dean Ornish Professor of Medicine at UCSF, USA stated at a recent conference in Monterey,
“Happiness is not to be pursued it’s there already
until we disturb it.”
You don’t need external goals to find them you just need to refocus.
As Eykis says In Wayne Dyer's book, Gifts From Eykis:
“There is no way to happiness.
Happiness is the way.”
In other words, we human beings, are like mirrors. We are happier, more contented and more fulfilled when our external results match our internal goals. In other words when we are at one with what we are doing. When our outside world and our inside world are interconnected.
You are always successful when you follow the inner voice. When you follow your intuition. When you follow your spirit. When you tap into your potential.
You are out of balance when you set outer goals that are contrary to your inner being. How do you know you are out of balance? You feel uncomfortable and you find it difficult to achieve your goals.
THE QUESTION NOW IS;
What is your inner voice saying to you?
There is no mistaking the correct goals to set yourself because you feel it is right. A light goes on inside. You feel passionate about what you have to do. You don’t want to stop. You enjoy everything about it. You have found your ‘in zone’. You feel really comfortable. You have now created the opportunity for happiness to reveal itself because happiness is to be found when you are flowing naturally rather than in pursuing external objectives.
When you find that what you want is the same as what you need. When you find something you really love doing until it hurts. When you are passionate about something you cannot stop yourself from doing it. You keep doing it because you, the creator are happy. It makes you feel good.
Eating two lettuce leaves in order to lose weight to please someone else does NOT make you passionate to lose weight.
The secret is to focus on YOU. Really work on what it is you want. Dig deep inside and find your unique talent. Your potential.
Take the time. Have the patience.
And very important don’t talk yourself out of it.
Don’t discourage yourself.
And keep away from people that enjoy discouraging you.
It may take longer than you think it ought. But you will get what you want.
Release your unstoppable passion. Now.
Graham and Julie